“Vulnerability”
“Right Place, Wrong Time.”It feels like the story of my life. How I feel on a day like today as I find connection, in all the right ways but still feel indifferent because of where I am in my life. A conversation of truth, and while others will judge me and claim the opposite of these words, it feels like I’ve known nothing more true in my life. “What is the price for love?” “Free.” “but without money they never loved me.” I wrote that in the song “lawnmower” relative to my thoughts for my upcoming album “Lawnmower,” (country genre) based on the life I wish I had instead of the many years I was wandering lost. This morning I wrote the album bio and it speaks more in depth on my thoughts towards that album rather than how I feel in this present moment. I never felt lost as I previous stated because I know what I’ve always been working towards but I will say the path has certainly taken a few left turns more than a couple times. But as I’m focused on “A New Direction” the end game is still the same. Find love and happiness, with someone who recognizes me for me and the value I have as I see my significant other in the same context. A conversation between brothers as I relayed the first draft of “Lawnmower,” he said to me “you’re speaking truth.” And while I’ve been influenced by the words of so many more talented people and artists than I could ever possibly compare myself to in any relation, I wonder if my words actually touch the hearts and souls of those who hear them or read them. Id like to say they do but I feel the opposite in a world that is defined in such a “situationship” type of environment. You only have use to others so as long as it’s beneficial in some context. Most people would rather settle for a comfortable situation opposed to seeking happiness and love over contentment. I understand being a realist and doing what you have to do to survive, but in the context of love, I often question the level of happiness, people find themselves settling for in how they spend their lives. Is it unrealistic to believe in true love these days? Is it unrealistic to believe in loyalty. Is it unrealistic to be honest. I think I’m a little too honest at times. I would rather give you the worst of me to paint the picture of who I was opposed to the image of me being something I’m not. If a connection begins with a lie, does that mean that everything else said from that point is going to be a lie. I’d like to think people can change, but I will say it sets a tone, in not having trust in that person and connection as you form a relationship further. “Vulnerability” defined as the inability of an entity to withstand the adverse effects of a hostile or uncertain environment. Do we risk losing the ability to acquire what we seek, or the benefits of whatever that context may relate to by being vulnerable? Is a white lie so important, or so damaging in the sense of others not judging you in a manner that eliminates you from the reality of possibility. Someone told me today that vulnerability is the most important factor in building a connection. I’m someone who has always had a hard way of expressing myself and music was that outlet for me my whole life. Today I’m much more confident in using my voice to speak my feelings. I said some words to a few people today, and while I meant every one I said to each individual person, I’m thinking about the words I had spoken to a beautiful woman, and I wonder how she feels about the statements I made. Well let the world know about the “Hail Mary” throw as I dedicate these words to “The Librarian.” “I’m far from perfect and probably not worth it.” But I’m a man confident enough to be vulnerable to admit I am intrigued by the words you have given back to me. I don’t know if the first throw was caught, but this is the second go as I demonstrate vulnerability in my thoughts through expression in the words I write. Official lyrics coming soon to my songs “itTakes2” and “lawnmower.” #kevinsheartloveart
Building a new start
Dedicated to “The Librarian”
Xoxo,
Sincerely Kevin Michael Lemnah
-The Poet
The Book of Ruth verse 16-17
16And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: 17where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.
